In My Time Of Dying
by Morphine Dementia
Summary: Confused about his real feelings, Ren sacrifices himself to save Horohoro without a bit of hesitation. As Jeanne's magic helps him back, he learns that his feelings were never one-sided. RenHoro, YAOI, language. - typing HoroRen to fool the search button
1. Tainted

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Ren sacrifices himself to save Horohoro. What's really going on between them?

This is based on an actual manga event. Well, sort of, anyway. Fiction, anime, yaoi, language, death (but happy ending. I hate sad endings.) RenHoro, mentions of Bailong x Jun, other pairings.

_Shaman King_, it's characters and events all belong to _Hiroyuki Takei_. Interpretations belong to me. The title is inspired by _Led Zeppelin _song.

Yeah, so..this is my first fic ever.. I hope you'll go easy on me. (smile)

' -thoughts

" - speech

_[I_ -thoughts or writing

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**In My Time Of Dying**

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**Chapter 1 : Tainted**

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It seemed as an evening like all the others.

Ren, a dark-haired boy with golden eyes, was sitting near the window in his hotel room, looking at the sunset. Even by his mere appearance he looked quite short-tempered, and his pointed hair only confirmed the impression. His shadow was laying on the floor and, unlike him, looked completely careless.

Ren's eyes narrowed slightly as unpleasant thoughts started come to him once again.

The sun seemed to be landing in clouds, you could feel the cold breeze which probably meant there was rain coming. Ren never actually cared about the mood that sunsets or sunrises brought; he just wanted to stare at something right now.

There was an open letter in his hand, from his sister -- a letter with cheerful, happy news. To some extent.

_'Silly Jun,' _Ren thought. '_Falling for her guardian ghost like that. It's disgraceful.' _He looked at the letter again.

Some part of him always knew this would happen, but he still was surprised when he read it in black and white.

* * *

_Dear Lian,_

_How's it going at the tournament? I heard there was some trouble between the officiants, and that the tournament might be stopped. Does this have anything to do with Hao? It might be dangerous. I hope you're alright. _

_If everything's fine, best of luck to you in the competition...and if there's something not right, best of luck to you and your friends! Take care of yourselves._

_I have some news. No, no, nothing bad happened back home! Actually...Lee and I...we're planning to get married! _

_Can you believe this? It would be so great if you could be home in the time of Spring celebration. I will tell you more as soon as you come!_

_Be careful, okay?_

_Love,_

_Jun_

_P.S. Best wishes to everyone!_

_

* * *

_

Married?..

Ren closed his eyes.

He couldn't even imagine how they...of course they already had sex, if they're marrying. Ren tried to picture how his nephews would look like. He smirked into the sunset. Please. His family just couldn't get less normal.

All this weird isolation through ages, grandpa with an attitude and poison specialist mother, then dad who hid behind fake fasade half of his life, and now his sister is fucking with a goddamn zombie.

_'Yeah, this just can't get any damn greater.'_

Ren's gaze went back inside. Now he looked at the spot on the wall near the door.

_'You're not any better,' _said a tiny voice in his head.

Ren closed his eyes.

He was the cause of much pain, but he then believed it was the right thing to do. He was simply mislead.

_'That doesn't change anything.' _He covered his face with his hands and tried to calm down. There wasn't a day when he didn't regret taking all these lives, and when he didn't think how could he do something good. Ren tried to change, that maybe wasn't much to outsider's eye, but actually his goals and therefore his whole mindset changed quite dramatically.

He finally had a good dream and people to care about. Something he never had before. Well, he always was protective of his sister, but that was different..

His friends.

Yes, he cared for them, and yes, sometimes he could have been so much better without them. Yoh was so lazy, he wouldn't move his ass to win his own life. Ryu was a complete weirdo with an attitude, and Faust was...well, insane. Choco's humour was plainly pathetic. Lyserg and Anna were fine as they did have sanity, power and ambition, but being around them was a total pain anyway. And Horohoro... well, he was just a stupid loudmouth. '.._with a good heart, I guess.' _

"Those idiots," he mumbled for himself. "I guess you get used to them."

::

Ren sat there still, with his mind, surprisingly, completely empty despite of having a lot to think about, and just looked at the wall, as someone knocked.

"Yeah?" he said, more to himself than to the person behind doors.

"Can I come in?" Ren heard Horohoro's voice.

For some reason, he felt annoyed all of the sudden. "Not that I'd kill you if you do anyway, so why bother asking?" he sneered.

Horohoro_ never_ asked if he could come in. He'd normally just do it, and loudly. It would be so like him to burst in the most unfitting time. When Ren was showering, for example. Really, how come this never happen? Ren chuckled as he recalled Horohoro's idiotic grin after mixing up his room with a bathroom. "Nothing I haven't seen before", Ren then told him. Horohoro went "Ha!", hid behind his towel and ran off. Good old times...no Hao to worry about.

The floor creaked as blue-haired Ainu boy walked in. He had something icy about his look; maybe it was his hair, that looked like it was frozen into icicles, or his clothes. His black eyes were warm though, and by no mean you could call the guy 'cold'.

Horohoro seemed somewhat down.

_'It's certainly weird he's not complaining about anything,' _Ren thought. _'Or not looking for trouble. With that mouth of his...If only he used his brain, too...'_

"Hey, Ren.. I thought I should tell you.." Horohoro's voice sounded strange.

Did someone die or something?

"If you have something to say, say it quick", Ren eyed Horohoro rather irritatedly and put the letter on the table.

Horohoro hesitated. "Ahh...You'll probably laugh at me...well.. the thing is. I have a bad feeling. You see, I've been having these weird dreams..."

Ren stood quietly for a few seconds, wondering if he heard what he thought he did.

"You came here to waste my time, to talk about dreams? Have you completely lost it?!"

"Wait! It's serious, Ren." Horohoro looked at him, trying to convince. "Nature is a powerful being. You know, how animals always feel when something's coming? I communicate with nature, and my hunch has never been wrong. Something bad is going to happen. Something big."

The cloud outside broke into thousands of little raindrops, and now they were landing, some actually were falling inside, as Ren didn't close the window. The sound of tiny water drops hitting the glass was somewhat relaxing.

"Of course, cheesebrain. That Hao guy is probably going to take over the world. But there's nothing that can't be undone." Ren stood up and took his kwan-dao. "I'd like to see him try. If someone _is_ going to rule the world -"

"No, Ren. I meant... it's more direct than that. And certain things... they can't be undone."

Ren looked at his friend. Was that really Horohoro? Certainly doesn't look like Horohoro he knows. This Horohoro looks serious. And...scared? No way! Something IS not right here.

"Hao is Yoh's twin", he said slowly, "That's direct enough. And...have you talk with Yoh yet? He seems to like all those sign and prophecy mumbo jumbo things."

"I did", Horohoro stated, suddenly a little dryly, "he says everything will be fine. Exept that..it won't". He looked at Ren again, seeing disbelief in his eyes, and sighed. Might just as well spill it all. "At least one of us won't come back from the next fight with Hao."

Ren frowned. "You don't just come in and say such things! If you're afraid to face that loser, just say so. I hate all that going around! If you think I believe all that bullshit about hunches and-"

"Ren...don't ignore it." Ren froze. First time in his life...it sounded almost like Horohoro was begging. "Be careful. I don't want anything happen to you too..."

_Too?.._The coldness in Ren's brain suddenly turned into flames. Horohoro didn't just have a hunch. _Did he foresee his own death? _Ren stood there, something's howling in his ears. If that's some sick joke, it's the sickest someone could come up with.

Not getting a response, Horohoro smiled sadly. Well, it didn't look like any fucking joke alright. The Ainu turned to go, but suddenly felt Ren's hand on his shoulder.

"Horohoro..." Ren whispered, " ..you'll be fine, I promise."

Horohoro looked back at him. "Uh..Thanks.. for saying so..I.." he looked lost for a moment then suddenly broke out, "I'm really worried, Ren! What if it's the last evening I saw someone? What if it's the last evening I saw anyone? What if.." he stopped and looked away, then shook his head. "I know, it's so not like me..but I can't help it."

They were so close that Ren could almost _feel_ the suffering inside his friend. Horohoro looked down, then his gaze stopped on Ren again.

Ren didn't know why he leaned forward. Now he could feel Horohoro's breath. Five inches...three...two...one...

Someone knocked again, this time really loudly, and both boys jumped, staring at each other, not believing what they were just about to do.

::

"Supper's ready, people!" they saw Choco's face in the doorway, "Am I interrupting, or is that just THE LOOK OF IT? Haha! Get it?"

"Cut it out, Choco," Ren said as he walked past him. He looked forward and was gone in the dark hallway.

Choco turned after him, surprised. "Hey man, weren't you gonna hit me or somethin?" Getting no response - what was going on? - he glanced at his other teammate. "Hey, Horo-boro, do you know what's up with the pointy?"

Horohoro looked at Choco with a silent reproach and quickly walked out.

Choco looked at the hall where his friends disappeared and scratched his head. "Has _everyone_ went crazy in this damn place?"

::

Ren stood at the verandah. He wasn't planning to go to the kitchen anyway. _'Knowing Horohoro, he's stuffing his face already,' _he sighed. Why did it turn out this way. Why there couldn't be some nice situation, where Ren could explain himself to Horohoro and tell him how he felt, everything. A situation where a turn-down is not an option. Like the end of a battle or something.

Stupid Choco. _'Maybe I should have cut him. But that wouldn't have changed a thing.' _Ren tried not to think what he was really hoping for back there.

::

The moon was almost obscured by the storm clouds rising from the horizon. Horohoro looked through the window. He didn't want to meet Ren in the kitchen, so he headed directly to his room. He didn't know why. It all happened so_...'I'm imagining things,' _he thought. _'I hope Ren's not mad at me..' _Horo stepped forth and sat at the window, looking at the moon that has showed it's face one last time before disappearing in the black clouds.

::

Ren stared at the moon's reflection in a puddle of water on the ground instead. It was huge, clear...taintless. The moon definitely was a nice guy, always smiling, who never hurt anyone. Who didn't have any regrets. Ren clenched his fists. Then he grabbed a pebble and threw it into the water. The reflection waved, and the ripples broke the moon into sliver, then they were devoured by the dark clouds.

Ren turned around and went to his room.

First lightning sliced the night sky.

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**End Chapter **

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Here it is, the first chapter. I hope you liked it!

I'm looking forward to reviews.


	2. Something I Didn't Tell

Me: I've got a review!! omg!! my first review ever!!! Have to answer!

_Horocuteness_ and _Ren/Horo-is-love_, thank you very much! I'm happy you liked it!

for _Tainted Reflection_ -yes, I know about Lee, and it seems Ren thinks the same way as you! xD Were there many mistakes? I'm sorry! and thanks!

Corey: She's not English, she did the best she could. Which apparently isn't much. I could help her, but why would I?

Me: Gee...thanks bro.

Okay, so here's the next chappy...this one has a huge Ren's POV. Uh-oh, I feel the posessivness starting to leak! x3

It's quite short but well! I hope you like it! (and I actually managed to upload the story for Ren's b-day! yay!)

Sorry if it's a bit jumpy!

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**Chapter 2 : Something I Didn't Tell**

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That night, Ren couldn't sleep. There was a terrible storm outside, and the sound of thunder seemed to shake the building from the ground. Not a very cozy atmosphere, that's for sure. Talk about omens..

The boy layed in his bed, thinking.

..What happened today?

Ren understood it perfectly well - he almost kissed Horohoro. Actually, he _wanted_ to do that...and not only that. What surprised him was Horohoro's reaction. He didn't push Ren off or step back, nor otherwise tried to interfere.

Could it be.. he wanted it as well? Nah..it couldn't be it. He just was really depressed...needed a shoulder to cry on...

What's the deal with Horohoro anyway? Yeah, sure he was his friend...and a good one...and a cute -oh?!

_'Darn it.'_

Ren sat up on his bed. Now that damned Ainu makes him think like some sort of sissy. _'What's happening to me?'_ He tried hard not to imagine what he could have done if Choco haven't showed up. What he wanted to do for some time now.

There was something in a part of his mind that he couldn't control, something that wanted to claim Horohoro, press him down, get him moaning, writhing, screaming Ren's name...

The Chinese suddenly got angry at himself. What was he thinking? _'Stop it.'_

He tried to direct his thoughts into what Horohoro had said today. Obviously, something's going on. Nothing normally gets to him. It must be pretty serious.

_'I don't want something bad happening to him.'_

Ren hit his pillow. Not again. When did he get so soft?

...Well, it definitely was a while ago, at least where Horohoro was concerned. So long..

He tried to remember how it all started. First time he saw Horohoro he thought he was really funny guy, in a good way. It was the first time when Ren had a fight not to win or die, but a pretend on for fun. It actually surprised him that Horohoro cared what Ren says, and...Ren purposly teased him, since he never had that chance with anyone before. At the same time, since then forward, he tried never to go too far. He liked hanging with his new friends- it was something he always longed for.

However, at some points that wouldn't seem to be the case.

Like that time they went to hot springs, not long after Ren befriended Yoh and his gang.

Ren closed his eyes and almost saw how it all was. _Horohoro walks out of the dressing room, screams "CANNON BALL!!" and jumps into the pool...loosing his shorts in the process_. Everyone laughed or demonstratively covered their eyes, while Ren caught himself staring right at Ainu's ass and smirking.

Then he quickly turned away, but as time passed, he couldn't deny his strange attraction towards Horohoro. That was something unfitting, but it existed, and sometimes Ren found himself thinking that it was not so bad. Maybe he shouldn't keep it in the depths of his soul. So he's attracted to his friend in an unfriendly way. Hell, that's still more sane than his sister's case. So what?

And then again, Ren didn't want to loose his friend by foolishly hitting on him. He didn't want to force himself on Horohoro. That would be just wrong. He should be happy with the way things are.

_'Not like a monster like myself could actually care about anyone,' _Ren thought. _'I'm too dangerous for him..it's better the way it is..'_

And still, from time to time, he would find himself thinking about the blue-hair, in ways he never thought about anyone before, and definitely not as a friend...it was quite disturbing even for himself, though he considered such thoughts are normal when you're "maturing". Although sometimes he would be so embarrassed by his thoughts or dreams he wouldn't talk for a while at all, especially not with the Ainu shaman.

::

Ren tried to fall asleep, but the second he would close his eyes, images would start flowing in front of his eyes.

...there himself and Horohoro are walking on the edge of the cliff, and earthquake starts. Horohoro is holding onto the edge "Ren, please, help, Ren!" but Ren stands still and laughs at him; and here they are at the tournament, some creature smashing Horohoro's ice wall, he clearly needs help and Ren runs to him, but he's running too slow; and now he sees himself walking on a beach, broken waves almost touching his feet, and suddenly the water rises but Ren's stuck in the sand, and...

Ren sat at his bed, breathing heavily. _'Stupid dreams, maybe that damn snowman is contageous!'_

He looked outside. Thunder, flashes, raindrops and heavy wind. Something was hitting against the wall - _bump. bump. bump_. Ren turned in his bed and went to close the window he had left open. Of course, it was raining through the window. No wonder he dreamt all that water. He didn't like water.

"Bason", Ren called quietly.

He waited for a few seconds until something like a light breeze flowed from the wall near him.

"Yes, master Lian," he heard Bason's voice.

"You sure took your time coming to me, Bason", Ren said. "Where were you?"

"I am deeply sorry, young master. I was talking with Amidamaru."

"You call the samurai by name," Ren's eyes narrowed with slight suspicion which was by no mean caused by care, "you two really seem to get along."

"I am sorry I made you wait, young master."

"Apologies are worthless", the Chinese shaman said dismissively. "Go have a look around. I think something's up. If you see anything unusual, tell me immediately."

"Yes, master Lian."

::

The thunderstorm quietened. The rain slowly became soft, and then suddenly stopped. Ren stood in the middle of the room, thinking what all that could have meant, then slowly came to bed.

_'Horohoro...you were something special since the moment I saw you. We were always fighting...but the truth is...it's not that I don't want anything happening to you. I simply couldn't bear it. Maybe...sometimes I think that maybe..'_

Suddenly, he heard a voice from the first floor, "WAKE UP IDIOTS! GET DOWN HERE!" and the same second Bason came back. "Master, there is a bunch of Hao's people about a mile away.! They're planning to -"

"You're late again, Bason!" Ren yelled, "and I don't want to hear what you were doing this time. Get ready!" he ran down the stairs along with other surprised shamans.

::

As everyone gathered around the table, Anna started to talk. "It's Hao again", she said, "we've been informed that he's going to march to the Patch tomorrow. If he decided to move now, it's already too late for us to do anything. So we'll wait until morning. Everyone get ready!"

"And you, Yoh..remember. You're the one to be the Shaman King. Don't let me down."

The mood at the early breakfast table seemed somewhat dreadful, as even Choco wouldn't clash a casual joke.

Ren and Horohoro sat quietly, avoiding each others eyes. They kept silent, but they both knew what might have happened yesterday.

::

It was almost morning when Ren went back to his room to take his belongings. He went inside, closed the door and turned around.

Someone was already there.

"Morning, Tao Ren", said Asakura Hao.

"What the hell -"

"There's no time, Ren..This is your last chance." Hao looked at him. "You're strong, but you could be so much stronger. You're wasting yourself on my brother's team. Join my side. The team I'm sending forward tomorrow is strong. You'd better consider it." He looked really self-confident.

Ren grabbed his spear. "You! Get out of my face before I -"

"You what?" Hao smiled, and Ren could almost feel his blood boiling. "Very well, you've made your choice." Hao looked almost disappointed and disappeared in a spiral of flames.

"Come back here!!!!" Ren screamed. His spear swept just through the place Hao was standing moments ago. "I will kill you! I SWEAR I WILL!!" He cut the shelf in half. How does that wretched rat DARE to speak to him like that?!

Ren quickly ran out of furniture to break. _'You thought you got over your rage outbursts didn't you?.. The fact is, you can't change who you are.' _He almost lost control. That inner voice again?!_ 'Well, the cause of everything bad that's going to happen was standing here a minute ago. Now do you believe Horohoro?..'_

Suddenly Ren felt the strength leaving him. Spear fell on the floor. _'No. This can't be happening!'_ Ren just hated himself now. That darn...what if something happens..._'I feel so powerless...'  
_

_Certain somethings...they can't be undone, Ren. 'I know that...I KNOW!'_

_And it will be your fault...your fault... 'LEAVE ME ALONE!'  
_

"RAAH!" enraged, Ren punched the wall. His knuckles started bleeding, but he didn't care. Blinded by anger, he didn't really care about anything at the moment, nor saw or heard anything either. He hit it again...and again...

Suddenly he felt someone holding his arm back.

"WHAT -" he turned and saw Horohoro's worried face. He wasn't one to frown often, and now he looked positively concerned. What was it with him being so serious lately?

"Ren, what on Earth are you doing? Stop!"

Horohoro's voice. Ren felt like he just woke up from a trance, out of breath again. He couldn't say anything, just looked how Horohoro's Kororo blew cold wind to his bleeding hand, and how his friend bandaged it.

"Look what you did to yourself. You're like a neurotic child."

Ren looked at his wounded hand laying in Horohoro's. Normally he would have kicked, punched and sliced for a comment like this, but right now he didn't feel like doing any of that. Words got stuck in his throat for a moment. "..I'm sorry."

Horohoro looked at him shocked. Ren never would say that. Especially not in these circumstances. "Uh..it's fine, really! I mean.. Are you okay, Ren?"

The Chinese shaman nodded absently, though his look said otherwise. "I don't know what came over me." He made sure his frown was back in place. It had happened before, after all.

"No worries", Ainu grinned, then went serious again. "But..don't do such things again. It.. hurts me to see you like this."

"What?"

"I..think I'd better go get my things". Was it Ren's imagination or Horohoro's ears turned slightly red? He sure was desperate to get out.

Ren looked after him. "Thanks..." he mumbled barely audibly, mostly to himself though it was probably meant for the other. He had no control over those rage attacks, yet just now... Maybe the Ainu indeed was special.

::

As everyone went down to the yard, the sun was already rising.

"It's time to move out, guys."

Anna's voice sounded almost soft as she looked at Yoh and gave him his bag. "Be careful, okay?"

Ren once again saw Horohoro avoiding his gaze.

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**End Chapter**

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By the way, that "Canon ball!" scene actually happened...check Chapter 65. Or I'm REALLY obsessed. xD

Anyway, that's it for now and the next chapter will bring up the main event of the story! (unless you're waiting what happens at the end. Hehe.)

And for those who smelled Bason x Amidamaru... Don't ask. xD


	3. Farewell

Well, first- thank you everyone for the nice comments! And it's my pleasure to write a story on my OTP too :)

_Nobody_ -yeah. That's why I said "don't ask". xD for some reason, I always saw Bason and Amidamaru like an interesting relationship...yes, I know they're ghosts, no, I won't tell you _how_ they do_ it_... and yes, I'm pleased to know you all will never look at those two the same way again..xD

...Morphea x Kororo anyone? xD

_Tainted_ - Wow so many parts you liked! I'm so glad, I really tried to make it...well, Ren! and I love that little canon panel too! xD About Lee... this is my story and I believe he still has something left in him- besides, there are certain offices today..cough. I do know the spear is called "kwan-dao", but a sentence "kwan-dao fell on the floor" sounds somewhat cold. True, everyone loves Horo xD But he belongs to Ren and anyone who argues might be killed.. o.o Anyway, thank you! I've already started to look forward to your reviews.;)

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Corey: This time she didn't do any better...

Me: No, Corey, you're out this time...instead of my annoying ghost/brother friend we'll hear from..

Corey: Pffft.

Ren: You almost made me sound like me this far.

Me: Almost?

Ren: Do it better.

Horo: I want more screentime. D:

::

The chapter that gave name to the whole story...it's a sad one. But as I said, it will end good.

Let's see what happens..when it _matters!._

By the way, the death and Horo's threat to Yoh are _canon_. Dattebayo.

I'm not good at describing fights or making the ends meet.. I hope it's not too pathetic, the end is quite good though. Oh, and also, in this fic the X-laws are friendly and willing to help. (Like I'd write an extra chapter on how they were persuaded to cooperate..)

...I still can't believe how serious Horo is in this fic.

p.s. "ikupasuy" - Ainu traditional good luck charm, a kind of carved totem, about the size of a pocket knife. Horo uses it for his oversoul later on instead of his snowboard. "kwan-dao" - Ren's spear that has a blade on its end.

Anyway, here's the chapter.

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**Chapter 3: Farewell**

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The two teams of shamans were walking for already two hours, and yet they haven't seen any sign of the enemy or his camp. The rain season in the desert has ended about a week ago, and some plants still were blooming here and there.

"The desert's beauty after the rain is that of a mid-summer moon, isn't it my dear Eliza?" Faust seemed more concerned about the scenery than Hao and his plans. How typical. Then again, could you blame him? The woman was his whole life.

"There's not even a campfire", Horohoro complained when they walked for another fifteen minutes. "Do you even know what we're looking for?"

"We'll know when we find them", Yoh seemed as careless as usual. "Why worry about that?"

"Hey, hey!" Choco waved in front of Horohoro's nose, "Answer this! Why didn't the Spirit of Fire cross the road?"

The Ainu twitched slightly and didn't answer. He wasn't in the mood of jokes, even less unfunny ones. _'I think I know a pretty good reason to worry.'  
_

::

They walked for another half an hour when suddenly Amidamaru landed down from the sky, quicker than usual.

"I see a group of people not far from here to the south", he said. Yoh looked at him concerned. "It seems they're not Hao's people though...and they are all dressed in white."

"The X-laws", Ren said in cold tone. None of them really liked the Angel squad, but lately, after some losses they suffered, they became a lot friendlier. "What are they doing here?"

"I'll go ask them!" Yoh laughed as if it was the most natural thing in the world. "Don't wait, I'll catch up with you!" and before anyone said a word, he was gone in the dust clouds.

"Idiot." Ren mumbled. They had no choice but to continue forth.

The group of five continued west, while Yoh and the X-laws were nowhere in sight. Ren didn't worry about it, since the last time they've met, the X-Laws almost seemed eager to make an alliance. Still, the fact that group's number was lessened, made him somewhat annoyed.

When they already couldn't see the road, air started to seem heavier. "Something's here, master," Bason was always the first to notice such things, and it definitely meant someone, or something's, presence.

Everyone stopped and started looking around. Suddenly, about thirty meters from where they were, a tornado of flames flashed again. Hao was floating in the air several feet above the ground. "We meet again, amateurs."

::

"It's Hao!" Choco yelled, and everyone turned to the direction he was pointing. "Oversoul!"

"There, there." Hao smiled a little, almost as for himself. "I wonder what you all are doing in here.. I only wanted to see Yoh."

"You're not getting him, you bastard!" Ryu raised his bokuto. "Go back where you came from!"

Hao looked at him, obviously bored. "What do you intend to do?.." as he got no reply, he continued. "You see...I'm not after the King of Spirits. Or the Patch. In fact, I was planning to make Yoh have some exercise today.. but if he's not here, I guess it'll have to wait. In the meantime, I should get rid of some of the..distractions he drags around with him. But I have better things to do, so.." The Spirit of Fire waved his hand and once again a group of people appeared from the flames.

"These guys really looked forward to meet you..._especially_ you, Tao Ren. You didn't want to join me, so now you can join your pals in the afterlife.." Hao smiled, waved nonchalantly and disappeared again as if he did this kind of business trips all the time. What he probably did. But still.

"Ren?" Horohoro turned at his friend, surprised he still haven't said anything, and didn't say anything more after seeing him. Ren's eyes were wide, and he looked like he saw a ghost - if this expression could describe the shock in his face.

::

"You," Ren said quietly.

A boy with a Patch uniform went out from behind his three teammates. Deep hatred was burning in his eyes. "Tao Ren", he said. "I think you have met my older brother, Chrome."

Horohoro saw Ren's hand clenching his kwan-dao so hard it looked like it could break any second.

"So..you're not him. Of course not." Ren tried hard to maintain his calm tone. "You sure look alike."

"Of course I'm not him. You killed him." the boy trembled with anger. "My name is Nichrome. I swore I would repay you for what you did."

Ren just kept looking at Nichrome. He still remembered how it happened..all of it. It was back then, when he still was burning with hatred for everyone...when he still lived according to the Tao way. He hoped he overcame it once and for all...and here, the past is coming back to haunt him. Chrome's death was one of the few Ren really regretted. Chrome was his officiant in the Shaman Fight, and he killed him during prelims, the first time he saw him. He was trying to forget it, to persuade himself this is Ren that no longer is, that he left that part of him behind...and he almost succeeded.

And now here he is, a living image of Chrome, right in front of his eyes, seeking revenge.

_'Don't panic...don't do anything stupid.. It was a long time ago..it wasn't my fault..'_

_'No, it was.'_

Ren looked at the other enemies Hao has left them with. He recognized Peyote and Bill, with whom he had fought before; the last was a creepy-looking man with a cross-shaped beard. For some reason, he reminded Ren of the X-Laws.

_'You need to put yourself together and fight..'_

"Well," the man said, "I'm sure lord Hao haven't send us here to talk." He took out a shotgun.

Everyone had already engaged their oversouls but Ren. "Ren what are you doing?" once again Horohoro's voice woke him up from the strange numb he got into. He formed his oversoul and stepped forward. "Don't overdo it, Horohoro," he said. "Those guys outclass you easily. Yoh isn't here. You'd better let me fight."

"What the?" Horohoro frowned, but there was no more time to talk as Hao's shamans attacked.

::

The fight has been going for almost half an hour, and neither side could get the advantage. Ren seemed unusually defensive. _'Just wait until Yoh gets here, and you won't have to feel guilty again...that's it...hold out...protect your friends...' _He was facing off against the man who he heard to be referred to as Luchist by his comrades, while Horohoro fought Peyote, Ryu and Faust seemed to be taking care of Bill and his team quite well -although Faust didn't seem to be fighting at all- and Choco held Nichrome off. _'Just a bit longer..'_

Ren deflected another Luchist's strike. This was starting to look funny. How long can they just pound each other? Little he knew, that someone already had something planned for him.

"Hey, guys!" a distant voice reached their ears. "What's going on in here?" Yoh!

"Now!" Nichrome shouted, dodging Choco's attack. For a second everyone stopped. Then Luchist turned and charged at Horohoro. "What the hell? I'm your opponent!" Ren yelled, running after him. As the Ainu seemed to have successfully stopped his blast with an ice shield, Ren saw Nichrome coming at them from the other side. "Shit!" Now both Ren and Horohoro had their hands blocked. "We'll finish them one by one, Peyote!" Nichrome grinned. "Leave Tao Ren for the end. I want him to know how it feels when you loose everyone close to you!"

As if he was hypnotized, Ren looked how a giant skeleton, controlled by Peyote, raised its knife. Peyote was clearly targeting at Horohoro._ 'Is that what he foresaw? I can't let it happen!' _ Ren gritted his teeth. He wasn't able to move his weapon by an inch, Nichrome's scorpion oversoul was holding it. He saw the giant blade coming closer..._'There's no time for Yoh to come to help..'_

Ren's hands let go of the spear and he jumped in front of Horohoro, with his arms stretched to the sides.

Ren heard Yoh's voice shouting "Amidamaru!", he saw himself moving almost in slowmotion, as he threw himself between Peyote's attack and Horohoro. "Bastards!!"

The blade fell.

::

Ren almost didn't feel pain, just blood coming up his throat, completely blocking his breathing. The giant knife hit him directly to the chest.

He saw Horohoro's frozen face. _'Don't look like that..Horohoro..It's okay, idiot. I chose what I wanted.. I couldn't see you die. I've no regrets..only maybe that I haven't screw you that night. It would have been a nice last evening ...right Horo?'_

Ren could almost _see_ his heart stopping, the coldness came out of it and took over all his body. He felt his eyes closing.

_'What..is this darkness...am I?...Darn it.._

_So this is it... Goodbye Jun...Yoh...everyone...And Horo...I'm sorry...that I haven't tell you before..._

_Horo, I - '_

When Ren hit the ground, he was already dead.

::

"Master Lian!" Bason shouted, but he was out-voiced by Peyote, "We're through here! Lord Hao told us not to fight if the Asakura appears! Let's go!"

"Stop them!" Ryu and the others still haven't notice anything as Hao's team was washed away by flames again. "How do they always do that? Oh! Master Yoh, you're finally here!"

Horohoro still stood at the same spot, looking at the unconscious body several feet away from him. His ikupasuy layed on the ground right where he dropped it, and a bit further - Ren's kwan-dao. Just two objects tossed on the ground as their battle came to an end.

Ainu's face was pale, and he walked forward feeling chilling horror growing inside him.

"Ren", he called.

Nobody answered.

Ren was laying right there, he should have heard Horohoro's voice. _'He always said my voice was loud and annoying..'_

"Ren!" the Ainu cried. Finally the other friends saw Ren on the ground and were walking in their direction.

_'This isn't happening..this isn't happening...'_ Horohoro rushed to his friend, practically falling to his knees, eyes still wide in shock, and touched his shoulder. Ren never lost. Never. Let alone... No. Kororo created some ice on Ren's wound to stop the bleeding. "Ren, please, wake up!" Horohoro screamed desperately having finally regained his voice, but as it gave no effect, he touched Ren's peaceful face. Tears filled his eyes. "No...NO!! REN!!!"

The Ainu shaman slumped on the ground beside his friend. "Why you do that for me?" he sobbed, throwing his arm around Ren. "You...you're as selfish as ever...you never thought that I would mind losing you, did you?" he buried his face in Ren's stomach, crying from the depths of his heart. "Come back to us, you big jerk! Please come back.."

::

_'What...what is this place?..' _Ren looked around, but all he could see was pitch black. _'Am I.. dead?'_ He looked down but he couldn't see his arms. _'What the hell is happening to me? Am I not even a spirit?'_ He felt a strange numb, like he was going to fall asleep. The darkness started fading. Ren tried to fight it but it was in vain.

Suddenly, he heard a distant voice. "Ren!..." It seemed full of despair and so...familiar. _'I know that voice..I remember...I think that's...'_

The numbness suddenly went away, and Ren could almost see shady figures around him, one of them must have been him laying on the ground. Another one was leaning over him, and he heard silent distant voice pleading him to wake up.

_'I'm sorry...Horo...is that you?..You didn't let me to..fade away now?..'_

The blackness kept dripping around him.

::

"What happened?.." Yoh and the others finally were here. They looked at the two shamans on the ground. It all was so obvious..

"Horohoro..." Yoh put his hand on Ainu's back, what only made him cry harder. "The Iron Maiden is here...she might be able to help Ren. Don't give up your hopes. Everything will work out."

Horohoro raised his head. Ren layed in front of him. Ren that would sacrifice himself to save Horohoro. Ren that would always tease him, and always be there when needed. Ren who would haunt Horohoro's dreams. Ren was gone.

Horohoro took Ren's hand. Still warm. Hand that Horohoro dreamed to feel on himself. And now, everything was gone.

He turned to Yoh.

"You. You are late. You were too late to help Ren, Yoh." As the Ainu spoke, tears ran down his face. "And now you think you can make everything go away with your words. You weren't there, Yoh."

He got up and walked past him.

As Ryu and Faust carried Ren to Jeannie's car, Horohoro walked behind them, almost not seeing or hearing anything around.

Yoh was talking with Jeannie.

"It's not that easy, Asakura," the Iron Maiden whispered, "but with my power, I can help your friend back. For that, I will ask for you assistance in the final battle against Hao. Can I have your word?"

"Sure," Yoh said casually and smiled. "Thank you."

The Iron Maiden nodded, a little taken aback but oh well, there was a job to do. "Take us to the nearest hospital..I will perform my spells there."

"Of course."

Horohoro walked past the X-Laws, took Yoh's shoulder and turned him around. For a few seconds, they looked to each others' eyes.

"Yoh", Horohoro said silently. His voice trembled. "If you can't save him..I will never forgive you."

::

**End Chapter**

::

Nooo Ren ;..; why did the paragraphs that succeeded had to murder one of my favorite characters...(yes, you guessed, the other two are Horo and Faust..)

Luckily, I ain't evil like SOME writers I saw in here, who would have ended the fic right there. It's not the end yet!!

That's it for this chapter, two more to go! See you on the update!

I really hope you liked this chapter... ( I did...the last few parts..sniff)


	4. I'll Be Here When You Come Back

Indeed I do, Tainted. Long review means my story was enjoyed.:) I'm sorry, Ren! And poor Horo, too..but it isn't a good tale without some tears right?..

I'm happy Ren and Hao came out the right way. It seems my "feel the role..become it.." routine is working xD I believe you know about it. Uh...be careful with such phrases as "my Ren".. I think I just saw Horo walk by...o.o Indeed, Lee. xD Oh and..are _you_ happy?- I almost cried too while writing Horo's part. Especially "You're being selfish again, Ren..". Not because I'm that full of myself that I weep at my stories, but because I tried to _be_ Horo, to make it persuasive...hell, it worked. ;.; Somehow it seems my strongest point is the touching scenes.

You probably noticed that udate happened sooner than usual...well I can't leave Ren in the deathbed with Horo crying on him can I? No, I can not. (and I want to sleep soundly, lol) Well, Ren and Horo's tears sure are magical, they made me write a whole chapter in 6 hours straight. xD

Actually, this chappy got me some good ideas, I might write a whole hospital fic one day...maybe.

Lemme just tell, I LOVE the title of this chapter. It's actually a phrase from a movie-videogame (it had an awesome plot. "Dreamfall", if I recall right?) I liked greatly. And the whole chapter suits it. There's just so much feeling in that tiny sentence. _This_ just might be my _favorite_ chapter from this fic. It might not be that great but it's simple as Horo.. No, I'm not doing a shameless self-promotion here..I just love it.

The one you've been waiting for, Horo's POV is here in this chappy! And we learn that everything is fine now. Or it will be soon..

::

**Chapter 4 : I'll Be Here When You Come Back**

::

A blue-haired boy was trampling his way in the hospital hallway. Five steps forward, turn around, five steps back. He clearly was waiting for something.

Jeanne left about a hour ago with her X-Laws, claiming that "everything is fine". She did note that her spells succeeded this well because Ren's spirit haven't left his body, what she noted as unusual and pointed that there had to be some really important reasons for his will be so strong as to stop departing after death. The Iron Maiden left Ren under the care of Dr. J. Faust VIII. However, if "everything is fine", why wouldn't the doctor let Horohoro in? Well, the most important thing - Ren is alive.. That sentence made Ainu sigh with relief.

Horohoro tried to keep his focus on the floor, but scenes from what he suffered few hours ago kept floating in front of his eyes. He saw Ren's face, when he rushed in to cover him. It wasn't the usual "heh, pathetic" expression. Ren was full of determination and jumped in without any fear, though he knew he couldn't stop Peyote's attack. He didn't even have a weapon. Horohoro remembered that Ren looked like that when they first met Hao, and the Spirit of Fire punched the blue-hair through the veranda. Ren caught him and charged at Hao with blind rage, while seeing clearly that enemy's Oversoul is three times bigger and he couldn't possibly defeat it. Hao's response was "Are you just upset that I hurt your friend?.."

Yes...Ren. Ren who would kill for his own pleasure, now has chosen Horohoro over himself.

_'You were right, Ren'_, Horohoro thought, _'You changed it...'_

::

"You're still here?" Faust appeared in the doorway with a smile on his face. "_Look, Eliza, here are the young who defied death as we have.. _You wanted to see him?"

Horohoro nodded silently, then finally opened his mouth. "Yes please."

While Horohoro was changing his shoes into hospital slippers, Faust told him about Ren. Jeannie didn't even have to perform her full resurrection spell, as Ren's soul didn't leave his body. She managed to magically cancel the major damage Ren suffered, so he probably won't even have health problems. His spine was sliced in two, Faust noticed with a doctor's adoration, but it seems that after Jeanne's healing it will have no consequence at all - well, maybe a scar. All of Ren's systems are functioning properly, although because he was, technically, dead - Faust obviously thought of "death" as something distant and unimportant - he might spend several days in a coma-like state and under medication until he recovers fully.

"He's already breathing on his own. Ren's strong willed, I'm sure he can go home by the end of the week," Faust finished. "I understand that you don't want to wait two days, I must say though, that now you might as well be talking to the shelf beside him. He won't answer."

The Ainu glared at Faust with such despair in his eyes that the doctor only nodded "Well sure" and lead him to the ward. "I'll be in the surgery", he said and closed the glass door.

::

Horohoro sat by Ren's bed. He couldn't help but smile. Ren was breathing slowly, he seemed to be asleep except that a machine next to his bed was beeping signifying his heartbeat. He was here, in this world. And still, it was sad to see the powerful, arrogant Ren laying in bed connected to the medical aparature, not even able to move -even if temporary. He probably was under the influence of morphine. _'What else would Faust use for medicine?'_

"Ren", Horohoro said quietly, taking friend's hand into his. "I know you can't hear me now.. But I _want_ to say this. Thank you. I think I understand now.." He looked at Ren's calm face and brushed the dark hair from his closed eyes.

After a while, the Ainu started talking again. He wasn't sure if he actually hoped the other shaman would hear him or if he simply couldn't keep his mouth shut. But he did anyway. "You know, my dad often said I was dumb and unworthy son.. You'd say now that he was right...right Ren?" Horohoro smiled sadly, leaning forward and holding his cheek against Ren's hand. "Yet you wouldn't really mean it, like always. I know you'd understand since your father is like that too. I just wanted to be appreciated.. When I saw you, I knew we're kind of the same, you know?.. And it doesn't matter if you were helping me out or telling me that I'm pathetic.. I promise you, I will always be there for you as you were for me... You...you mean a lot to me. Really."

_'Where am I?...'_ It's been a while since the strange darkness disappeared from around Ren. His soul was back into his body, though still unconscious; it felt like a deep, soundless slumber. He saw dreams from time to time, and sometimes he heard a distant voice he knew, but couldn't really tell who it was. _'Why...can't I answer you...I need to wake up...' _His body didn't listen.

But when Ren heard that voice's echo, he would start feeling calm and actually believe that he might return in one way or another.

_'Even if as a ghost...I still need to at least see you.. at least one more time...'_

::

Four days passed. Horohoro would come to the hospital every morning when the visiting hours started, and leave when the doors were being locked for the night. Other friends would also come to visit, but they always left Horohoro where they found him, since it seemed that nothing in the world could pull him away from Ren's bedside. Bason stayed near his master all the time, he looked after him day and night. "Lord Horohoro, I do know you care deeply for master Lian, but you are not a ghost like I am", he said when Horohoro came with the dawn again, slightly pale and with dark circles under his eyes.

"It's okay Bason," he answered. "The doctor said that Ren's consciousness is coming back. I want to be near him when he comes back."

He as usually sat by Ren, who now was sleeping again, and talked to him. Horohoro was quite certain that Ren couldn't hear him, but in just case... Maybe _something_ does get to him. Being alone in that darkness of coma sleep should be terrifying. "You're not alone", Horohoro repeated often, "I am here with you and I will stay here as long as you need me to. I will be here and wait for you.."

He didn't realize it as he didn't understand any of the equipment, but at times like this, at the sound of his voice, Ren's heartbeat fastened.

Faust then would look at them through the window from his office and smile for himself, humming something under his nose.

_'Now wake up.. and gaze at me..'_

Horohoro jumped, as tones of Faust's song woke him up. It was almost noon, and he probably fell asleep. It was no surprise - he didn't really sleep since the accident. Even though now everything seemed to be fine, he still needed to hear Ren's voice before he could really calm himself.

"Horohoro, you'd better go home and sleep a bit," the doctor said, almost gleefully. "It won't do any good to either of you if you just die from exhaustion."

The blue-hair raised his head, fighting the numb inside him. " I want to be with Ren when he wakes up", he said. "I want him to know I'm here."

"But he does know", Faust laughed cheerfully, "I only said that he wouldn't answer. He hears everything." Well, what a minor detail to overlook, really.

Horohoro stared at him surprised, then a huge smile appeared on his face, followed by a slightly awkward scratch of the back of his head. "Then he knows", he said.

Faust smiled for an answer.

"Come on Horohoro, you can go. Come back tomorrow. I'm quite sure Ren doesn't need any more medication. Next day after tomorrow he'll be going home fine as a cucumber.."

::

Horohoro sat on his bed. _'So much happened', _he thought. Thank god, Ren is okay. His Ren.. Horohoro smiled again at that thought. He always thought he himself is strong enough to take care of himself, and yet, when it was _Ren_ who told him otherwise, he didn't get half as mad as he normally would have. There was something about Ren, that made Horohoro enjoy being teased or lead by him.

To others, Ren might look dangerous and uncaring...while Horohoro knew that simply wasn't true. The Chinese shaman just was hiding his own pain and longing for appreciation, and the Ainu felt that he could help him, show him that there are people who would care for him or understand him.. After all, he was the one who taught Ren to laugh again..

Horohoro often caught himself thinking about the dark-haired boy. Deep inside, he knew that he would be delighted if Ren showed possession over him. But at the same time, Horohoro didn't want to force himself to Ren. If he felt the same way, he should show it sooner or later.

And now, after all that happened.. when it was finally clear that Ren does care for him..maybe even the same way as he does.. he would do anything for him. Anything.

_'Ren, you are special...I want to belong to you...and I want that you would feel this way too...'  
_

Horohoro finally closed his eyes and fell asleep.

::

When he woke up, the sun was out. Horohoro stared at it. He probably slept all day, all night and the next day's noon is here! How could he? And tomorrow Ren should be out! The blue-hair jumped from the bed, quickly dressed up and rushed to the hospital.

"How is he?" was his first question to Faust who was sitting at his table as usual.

"Oh, Ren?" doctor smiled. "He's amazing! Yesterday he woke up, and he already ate himself. Actually, he seems to be full of energy."

Horohoro's face fell for a moment, so much for his promise, he didn't manage to be there, but then brightened up. "That's awesome!" he even hugged Faust. When the Ainu finally calmed down, he turned to the doctor again. "Did he..mention me somehow?"

"No, he didn't."

Horohoro paused and looked down at the floor. So maybe he was wrong. After all this..

"He was so hyper this morning I had to put him on sedatives again. He said something about... wait, he said "I had to do something earlier that I didn't, so I'll do it now." And then he tried to run away from the hospital. I mean, he's supposed to be out tomorrow. Jeannie agrees. He's fine but I still have to make some tests today and... hey! Where are you going?" Faust saw Horohoro dashing towards the ward.

"To Ren," he just answered.

"Horohoro, you won't be able to talk to him now", the doctor said with his gentle smile. "He's asleep now. Or, at least, he'll be in seconds. If there's anything you want to say it can wait until tomorrow.."

"Oh come on!" Horohoro pleaded and Faust finally sighed.

"Okay, just not too long," he said and opened the door.

Horohoro walked inside. Clearly, Ren was all set up to go. Now he was laying on the bed in his Chinese pants. The Ainu noticed a scar on his friend's body right where Peyote's blade pierced him, but otherwise he seemed unharmed.

"Ren", he said.

Ren sighed slightly, but didn't respond otherwise.

Horohoro leaned over him. "I know that you probably don't care. And I still have to say it. Hate me if you wish, but I'll still love you. Ren, I -" he silenced as he saw two golden eyes open. Ren looked at him with his deepest gaze, and blue-hair felt his ears turning red. The Chinese lifted his right arm.

"You idiot", Ren said.

He grabbed Horohoro's shirt, pulled him down onto himself and kissed him on the lips.

Ainu froze for a second, then he kissed back. He thought he would explode from a mix of surprise, delight and happiness, even if it only lasted a moment. He smiled gently, almost as if forgivingly, as he felt Ren's hand let go of him, the golden eyes closed and Ren went back into the deep slumber he was in before.

Horohoro looked down at his not-so-secret-anymore love and big, silly grin appeared on his face.

He leaned over Ren again.

"I love you, too," he whispered.

And that was all he needed to say.

"Are you still in there?" he heard Faust's voice behind the door. "The hospital is closing! Come tomorrow to take your friend home."

::

**End Chapter**

::

The final chapter is coming up! What will Ren say to Horo when he finally wakes up properly again?.. I somehow doubt he'll hide his feelings anymore.. xD

I hoped you liked this chapter! It sure was a delight for the soul and fun to write. Lovely. (Now I just have to get Horohoro out of my system...could take a few days.)

Yeah, this was definately my favorite chappie. (big huge stupid grin insert here)

See you on the update! (Now, when Ren is alive and Horo is happy, I can leave you hanging for weeks without it...Just kidding xD )


	5. Resurrection

I'm sorry for the wait! School is horrible this month. Well, here I am now!

Thank you everyone for the comments! Haha everyone loved Faust. D Well he's an understanding crazy fellow isn't he. ;) And as I said, Ren, Horohoro and Faust are my favorite characters, so it's just natural I try to make them all loveable!

_Tainted_ - yeah, Horo is Horo...that was something Horo would say, and something Ren could do. I really hope I can keep this up in the last chapter! dances with you  
Um, am I a Horo-like person? I dunno...I often like to "play" my favorite characters..(I remember when I pretended to be Jack Sparrow for three days. Fucking hilarious. I even learned his walk. XD) Then again...in this case I didn't really want to act like Horohoro in everyday life...(oh my. Sleeping through lessons, hiding under the desk not to be asked (believe me it's a funny sight in high school), zero focus...not funny pulling off a Horo when you're in ) So yeah, maybe that **is** a side of me. :)

The final chapter people!...I hope I didn't let you down! I hope it's persuasive! After all this is my first fic...thank you for reading it...(the author is very sentimental)

This chapter contains yaoi as in some _boy on boy action_...not very explicit, but still, if you don't like it, then don't read this...hell, if you don't like it, then why have you read this far? xD

_Layin' low...wanna take it slow.. _(yeah, another AiC lyric...I seem to relate to them a lot xD)

I wasn't sure about the title (the awakening thing has sort-of happened already), but I thought of it before I started the fic, so I guess I'll leave it. :) Just look at "ressurection" as to getting back to the way you lived/wanted to, fully.:)

Good reading!

::

**Chapter 5 : Resurrection**

::

The day has finally arrived. Everyone seemed relieved that Ren is coming back from the hospital - and one person was especially excited about it. Horohoro was finally back to being the sunshine he always was, surprising others by how much affection Ren's state made to him.

When the Chinese finally appeared in the doorway, two hours earlier than the company was planning to get him, everyone ran to him to welcome him back, and the Ainu almost hugged him to choking. "I'm so happy!" he repeated.

::

The girls, with the help of Ryu, have prepared dinner, and now everyone sat around the table just like the times before. Ren and Horohoro held hands under the table for half of the evening, both smiling conspiciously when they looked at each other.

_'He's here, he's here with me. Now everything is okay. I still can't believe this..I'm too happy..he's here!!'_

Another gaze. _'I'm back..I'm finally here. And Horo is happy to see me.. can this get any better?.._

Ren couldn't really recall what it was like being on the other side, but he remembered that, inside the darkness, he often heard a familiar voice. He was already pretty sure it was Horohoro's, but all other things still seemed a bit unreal to him. Like..what happened yesterday.

He looked around. Yoh was chuckling, what apparently made Chocolove really happy, Anna was scowling at them, Faust was in his own world again, Ryu was about to start one of his stories about hitchhiking, while Lyserg and Tamao just sit smiling and trying to hear everyone.

Ren turned his head to look at Horohoro. _'Pass up a chance to fool around? Weird. Maybe..what happened..does it trouble him?..'_

The Ainu grinned and waved, noticing that Ren is looking at him. "I've never thought I'd be so happy to hear you call me an idiot like yesterday", he announced.

_'Heh..not at all, so it seems. Good old Horo..he feels for me too.'_ Ren leant closer to still grinning Horohoro, put his arm around blue-hair's waist - what caused the latter's grin widen further in an almost wry manner - and smirked. "I can do it again," he stated, then added, silently, "Now, why don't you tell me about your troubles again? I think I didn't let you finish yesterday."

::

That was one wonderful evening.. But it couldn't last forever.

"I hate to say it, but tomorrow we're leaving," Anna stood up at the table's end. "We do not know what Hao's plans are, and as shamans, our duty is to do everything we can to stop him. We need to help protect the King of Spirits! Oh and by the way, good to have you back Ren. Do try to stay that way, so Horohoro wouldn't unleash his pathetic attempts of revenge on my Yoh."

Horohoro laughed almost nervously at the last comment. He didn't really think about that day much anymore, ever since he heard Ren's voice again.

::

It was already nightfall when everyone went to their rooms. Horohoro still stood in the hallway with Ren, talking, and the meanings between "goodnight" and "goodbye" now seemed too close for him.

"I don't want to loose you again, Ren" he said. The Chinese looked at him cautiously.

"Huh? We're just going to sleep. You're not going to lose me."

Horohoro looked down, frowning a little. "I know, but...I'm just thinking about tomorrow. And.."

"And?.."

The Ainu sighed, then grinned. "Sleep with me tonight," he said casually.

Ren thought his eyes would fall out. "Wha-- Uh. You mean like? Sleep?" That wasn't anything too uncommon, they've had to share space before on some occasions but still.

"Yeah sure." Horohoro hummed.

Ren looked at the Ainu. That was at least a bit unexpected. "Let me get this straight. You are asking me to sleep with you?" Ren raised his eyebrow, and without waiting for an answer added, "Well, I suppose that's okay. If you really want me to." Horohoro nodded happily, for a moment he looked almost embarrassed, and Ren thought it was funny._ 'It's so like him, just saying everything he has on his mind, no further thought.'_

Soon they were in the room and getting ready to sleep. Horohoro put his jacket on a chair and sat on his bed. "I thought I lost you. Thank you for saving me...but don't do something like that again, okay?" He looked almost intimidating.

Ren went to sit next to him, feeling somewhat anxious and calm at the same time. "I did what I had to, but I'm here now, aren't I? The more important thing is, why. Do you ever think?"

The Ainu chuckled, scratching his head. "I...don't know?"

"Well, that's not a surprise, is it." Ren smirked. _'His cluelessness is amazing...and yet I think that's exactly what I like the most about him..'_

"Tell me then." Horohoro put his most innocent and yet funny pout on.

"So you want to know why I couldn't die yet?" Ren whispered to his ear. A chill ran down Horohoro's spine from Ren's hot breath. He turned his head a bit and now looked straight at dark-hair's golden eyes. "There was something that I couldn't leave." The blue-hair trembled slightly as Ren's hand made it's way under his shirt. Oh wow. Just as planned. The Chinese shaman now leaned over the Ainu, whispered "Guess who?" against his lips and caught him in a kiss once again.

Horohoro gave in to Ren without even thinking, even if normally he would have preferred to put up a bit of a fight. But he always dreamt about this, Ren wanting him as much as he wanted Ren, plus after all that had happened he didn't mind this going whatever way. The Ainu closed his eyes, enjoying his lover's tongue exploring his mouth. As Ren pulled back, Horohoro inhaled some air. "Ren.."

"You talk too much", the Tao replied, leaning over him again.

After few minutes, blue-hair couldn't really talk anymore. "H-hey...where did you...learn to kiss like that?.."

"You don't have to be learning _anything_ when the right person is in front of you. I said I had something important to do, didn't I? It includes you, you know..."

"Oh?"

Ren smirked again. "Just don't think about it. It's not your thing anyways."

Horohoro didn't have enough air to laugh anymore. "Look, mister, don't get overconfident with me.." he chuckled. The Ainu never knew how he slipped trying to sit more comfortably, but the next second he was laying on his back with the silliest grin imaginable. "..haha..."

"Mister Horohoro," said Ren in a majestic voice, "I bow down to your clumsiness." He pinned the Ainu down and kissed him deeply again. _'Yes..it's getting more and more like...what I only used to dream of back in the day. Now tell me, do _you_ want it, Horo?'_ He stopped, waiting for a response from below. Horohoro looked up at Ren. There he was, here and now, his golden eyes almost shining with curiosity and wait in the light darkness. _'I don't want him to stop..'_

"Mister Ren," he said almost as majestically as the latter, "I changed my mind. I don't want to sleep with you anymore."

Ren blinked. "Wha--"

"Let's have sex instead."

The Chinese nearly choked. That was a .. very blunt way to say it, at the least. Oh well. At least it didn't seem to have worked as a cockblocker, what he was in fact concerned about for a moment. Well, the Ainu has spoken his mind.

The Tao took another moment to get his smug look back, and then his smirk widened twice. "Very well", he said quietly, "I was just about to suggest it anyway."

Finally. Ren leaned over Horohoro gently and planted another kiss in his mouth. This time he didn't stop, though, and after finally releasing blue-hair's lips, continued kissing on his jawbone and then down the neck. Horohoro let his arms wander around Ren. The Tao felt Ainu's fingers moving in his hair, as he continued kissing and his hand was working under Horohoro's shirt. The blue-hair sighed out his name, and Ren looked at him with his almost magical gaze for a second, and, not hearing any objections, threw off Horohoro's shirt and started licking his now fast-heaving chest. His hand now slid down Ainu's torso and all the way further. "Let's see what we have here", he mumbled, feeling Horohoro pulling his hair harder.

"My dick, possibly? Just a wild guess." Well wasn't he feeling energetic. Ren grunted.

"You should keep your mouth shut if you don't want this to end before it starts," he chuckled breathlessly and turned his head to kiss Horohoro again, and this time, using the just-gained knowledge of his lover's body, he got the first moan out of the Ainu's mouth. He quickly covered it with his own, so there wouldn't be too much unnecessary noise.

The Ainu tugged at the Chinese's pants.

"Patience", Ren whispered, unsuccessfully trying to maintain his calm breathing, "We're almost here."

When the dark-haired boy was done with the intro, Horohoro was already panting, and there was no need to delay it further.

Ren took a deep breath. _'Be subtle...be gentle. You want to make it good for him...'_

"Down they go!" he said in the most casual voice he could make and Horohoro's boxers flew away.

"Stop staring at my ass and do it!"

Neiher Ren or Horohoro had done something like this before, but, as they later recalled, it worked out surprisingly well even if it was a bit painful at first.

Ren was panting, he saw Ainu's face below of his, an expression filled with some strange combo of pain and pleasure. It was an old desire of his, having the blue-hair down and writhing passionately in answer to Ren's every move. When Horohoro started screaming, they both didn't care if someone hears them anymore.

::

When they finished, Ren slumped to the bed beside Horohoro. _'You're all mine now, Horo..' _ What a relishing thought. The Ainu looked at him with half-closed eyes, completely out of breath, but looking quite content. "Ren..." he finally was able to talk, "I love you."

Ren kissed him, rested his arm on Horohoro's chest possessively and was pleasantly surprised when the Ainu cuddled to him. Ren buried his nose in the soft blue hair. "Good night, Horo." he said softly, trying to put his unspoken feelings into that one sentence. Horohoro just mumbled something and fell asleep, still holding onto Ren. _'He must be really tired..'_ Ren thought. _'heh..so easily worn out..he does need protection..that's why I'm here..I'll protect you..'_ After several more minutes, he was asleep himself.

::

By the time Ren woke up, it was already morning.

Ren got up silently, trying not to wake Horohoro. He looked at the Ainu who was smiling into the pillow, the sight made him warm inside, and a light smile appeared on his own face as well. _'He's even cuter when he's asleep'_, Ren thought. He went to the window, looked back one more time and started staring at the dawn. Sun wasn't up yet, and the sky was in soft orange tones that were announcing the beginning of the new day. Ren sat at the window, and for a moment he felt just like that evening when he got his sister's letter. _'I am still a scourge, no matter what I do. I don't want to hurt you, Horohoro...are you sure you want this? To be with me?..' _He looked at the morning sky. _'I don't want to be alone anymore..but I can do anything for you'_

Ren was so deep in thought that he didn't even hear footsteps behind him. He startled slightly as something soft brushed his cheek and turned to see Horohoro sitting beside him with a happy expression on his face, which faltered for a brief moment just as he was sitting down.

"Morning, Ren", he said giddily. "Why didn't you wake me up? Did you want to be alone?"

Ren looked at his now lover, something gentle appeared in his eyes again as he put his arm around Ainu's waist and pulled him closer. "No, Horo." he said silently looking at the sun rising. "I don't want to be alone." He felt Horohoro's head resting on his shoulder.

"Then you won't be, Ren. I am with you, ya know? Don't forget it. I _want_ to be with you." Ren turned his head and saw Horo's face. His eyes were closed and he had a huge smile on. "Everything will be fine."

They sat like this until it was time to leave again.

::

"What do you think will tomorrow bring, Ren?" Horohoro asked as they went down the stairs holding hands.

Ren shook his head, but his tone was rather determined. "I don't know..but whatever it is, we'll be the same. And I promise, I'll always be with you."

They smiled and stepped forward into the sunrise.

::

**End Chapter**

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**End Fic**

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_Author's comment: Lol, Ren's subtleness.. Gotta love it. XD_

This is it! **I hope you enjoyed this fic as much as I did!** I even feel sorry I have to end it. But it doesn't matter, I'll probably be writing more RenHoro anyway. xD

Although, this one fic will always hold a special place in my heart as the very **first** fic I ever wrote. Thank you everyone for reading it! It means a lot to me. (hugs all the strangers around)

Until we meet again!


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